The Aliveness Factor by Menéndez Juan M. Martín;

Author:Menéndez, Juan M. Martín;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing

CHAPTER SIX

Feel Your Feelings

Once, when I was attending a one-week residential workshop, something happened that touched me deeply. Well into the week, the facilitators had managed to create a close and intimate atmosphere in the group. It must have been the third or the fourth day when a man in his mid-thirties began to cry uncontrollably. He couldn't stop; it was like the doors of a dam had burst open, and the water was being released. We all were deeply touched to witness this big guy, who seemed so controlled and intelligent in his comments and remarks, just break open suddenly and fall into the waters of feeling and emotion. This situation continued for the following two days. By the end of the week, his emotions had tempered, and he was obviously feeling great. His face was shining, and he looked so much more alive.

When we are cut off from our feelings, we experience a sort of numbness that we might not even be aware of until we have an experience like this man had. In his case, it was clear that he was a very controlled and mind-centered man with pent-up emotions. Once he was in an inviting and safe environment, those emotions found release. When he got in touch with his feelings and let them flow, he felt enlivened, even if what he was experiencing were feelings of sadness and grief. I believe that most of that grief came precisely from his being cut off from his feelings, maybe for most of his life. After his sadness and grief got released, his heart was cleansed, open, and able to experience emotions like joy and love that made his heart vibrantly alive.

When we are in touch with our feelings and let them flow, our hearts, our emotional dimension, are more alive, and so are we. This doesn't mean we have to give expression to all our feelings and let them control us or get us into difficult situations. It means that we don't deny our feelings, that we acknowledge them, feel them, and let them be. In order for us to have vibrant hearts filled with love, joy, and passion, we need to be in touch with our hearts and our feelings, and allow any difficult emotions that might live in us be healed and cleansed.

As we've seen in the previous chapter, the ways of our modern life lead us to dwell more and more in the realm of the mind, bringing with it the side effect of our feelings losing presence in our consciousness, but there are also other reasons why we may have our feeling capacity lessened.

It may have happened that we grew up in a family environment that was not supportive of our feelings. Maybe the open expression of feelings was not okay, and we had to neglect our feelings in order to be accepted. This practice became habit and eventually led us to disconnecting from those feelings.

Cultural conditioning is another factor that can get in the way of our feelings.

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